Part #1: Dear John
I’ve seen Nicholas Sparks' movies before.
When I was still a young impressionable teen, I saw A Walk to Remember. It made me cry like a baby. Then a few years later, I saw The Notebook. It made my cry like a baby. Many more years later, I found myself sitting in a theater, watching Dear John.
That’s when I realized something. These movies kind of follow a pattern (And when I say, "kind of", I mean "definitely"). Besides reducing most women (including myself) to quivering puddles of tears, Nicholas Sparks knows how to move the heart. The guy is a master at it. However, this is not always a good thing.
Moving the heart.
When the heart is moved, the mind often takes a backseat.
When I sat down to watch Dear John a few months ago, I decided to finally let my mind have a go at the wheel. After pondering the series of Mr. Sparks movies I’d seen in the past, I decided it might be a learning experience for both myself and you, my beloved readers, if we took a look at the various romantic tragedies this prolific writer has woven onto the big screen.
Tearjerker movie number one: Dear John
I figured I’d start with this one since it is the most recent Sparks film I have seen, so it is the freshest in my mind. If you need a refresher, here is the trailer, and then we will get started!
(Warning: It does have some PG-13 content.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc0ODuEYp5o&feature=related
Basic plot rundown (THERE WILL BE SPOILERS): John, a soldier on leave from his tour in Iraq, chooses to visit his hometown in North Carolina. While there, he runs into Savannah, a college student who is working with Habitat for Humanity. During their two weeks together, they fall deeply in love and become inseparable, that is, until it's time for them to return to their lives. But before they part, they make a vow to write each other letters. This goes on for a year and all seems to be going well for the two lovers.
John comes home and is reunited with Savannah again. Then, the tragic events of 9/11 occur, and John’s sense of honor, patriotism, and duty compel him to re-enlist. Savannah initially supports his decision and continues to write letters to him, but after a while, Savannah’s letters wane, eventually ceasing altogether. Her last letter is a “Dear John” letter. If you aren’t familiar with this term, a “Dear John” letter is a breakup letter. And this one informs him that Savannah is engaged to another man. John is devastated. One day when he is out on patrol with his unit, he is shot repeatedly. After recovering, John is encouraged by his captain to go home. However, because John is still reeling from the last letter Savannah sent him, he re-enlists once more, this time spending six years in Iraq and Afghanistan.
John's autistic father, who reconnected with John, in part, through Savannah's efforts, suffers a stroke. Only then does John return home. His father dies shortly after John comes back.
After the funeral, he decides to visit Savannah. Much to his surprise, the man she had married was her neighbor and best friend, Tim, whose son is autistic. Savannah didn't marry Tim for love, but rather out of a desire to help him and his son. Tim contracted cancer and is confined to the hospital indefinitely without an expensive experimental drug. Tim divulges to John that Savannah still loves him. But, John chooses not to act on this information. Instead he removes himself from her life, but not before selling his father's prized coin collection to pay for Tim's medical bills (anonymously). Savannah figures it out and sends John one last letter, thanking him. Years later, they finally reconcile and live happily ever after as friends or lovers, the movie isn't clear.
While watching this movie, I came up with a few insights. Usually, Mr. Sparks has me hook, line and sinker (since I am a young woman between the ages of 15 and 35, his desired demographic). But since I have seen two Sparks-inspired movies before, I was onto him even as I watched this in the theater, with people quietly weeping beside me.
Nicholas Sparks places a high-value on romantic love. In this movie, these two people seem to have a connection that transcends typical vacation romances. And they seem to realize it within the time frame of two weeks.
My first concern with this movie (and it will most likely be my concern with almost all Nicholas Sparks film fables) is its elevation of the importance of emotion in the relationship. In this movie, two people meet and in a short amount of time establish an intense relationship that quickly moves into physical territory. This is often seen in relationships where there is no pace. Emotional intensity morphs into physical intimacy in a short amount of time. The participants in this kind of relationship ride on feelings. And I don't necessarily mean sexual ones. Emotionally-charged relationships do not need a physical factor. They can be just as devastating as heavy, physical relationships. This usually results when a couple is operating from the mindset that "what my heart feels is always right. I feel good and fulfilled with this person. This must be what God has for me."
Now don't misunderstand me, feelings are God-given and can be great. But God intended romance to be guided by wisdom. This means patiently and thoughtfully pursuing another person, while also seeking out advice from your parents, friends, and most importantly, God himself. You do this through prayer, searching His Word, and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you.
My next concern with this movie was one of its character's selfish attitude in the relationship. During the movie, John, for the most part, maintains a selfless attitude. He serves his country, not once complaining about his service, although it removes him from someone he obviously loves quite severely. This is what leads to his devastation when he is dropped like a potato by Savannah. Savannah displays selflessness in only one aspect of the movie: her care for her friend Tim's autistic son and her desire to start a horse-back riding camp for autistic kids (With that plot detail, Sparks turns on the sentimental factor pretty heavy, but that seems to be his style).
Savannah's lack of care for John is first evidenced by the way she ends things. While her letters are romantic, the message she gives him needed to be given in person or on the phone. The way she went about it, avoiding the emotional turmoil generated by an in-person breakup, demonstrated emotional cowardice. I apologize if this seems too harsh. But like a drive-by shooting, Savannah demolishes John without having to deal with anything awkward or painful. Which brings me to my next point.
Once John returns home, Savannah expects them to be friends. This is impossible to do immediately after a break-up regardless of whether it was a severe break or not. But in the case of John and Savannah, it is a new level of selfishness for her to require from him an immediate return to that level of relationship.
My final point is more of a detail, and it involves a scene in the movie that nearly made me stand up and throw something at the screen. Savannah's justification for leaving John while he was still overseas was that another man needed her. She compared his time overseas, getting shot at and fighting for his country to her struggle back home without him . She turned to Tim because he needed her more than John, and as she says, "he wouldn't leave in the name of duty."
Plugged In Online worded it this way: "At one point Savannah howls at John, saying her life without him has no meaning and has became a "marathon." That is, she all but says she had to cheat on him because he forced her to through his absence. Poor heroine. And by that I mean poor, foolish, selfish, emotionally puny heroine. How would Tim feel, I wonder, if he knew the primary reason Savannah was helping him and his son, was so she could feel needed.
John, even when given every reason to just drop everything and leave Savannah in the dust, chooses to do his "duty" one last time. In this case, it's selling his recently deceased father's coin collection and using it to pay for Tim's medical treatment, so he can return home instead of dying in a hospital.
Here is where the movie and the book differ. In the book, John and Savannah never reunite. This is a realistic and understandable ending. In the movie, however, they threw in a scene of John and Savannah meeting and embracing. Apparently, this was done to give the movie "a better ending". I would have preferred the former.
Savannah and John's romantic tryst seemed to ultimately bring pain to both of their lives. I wonder what might have been had John and Savannah taken their time? What if they had chosen to protect one another's hearts, and taken it slowly? Some may say, "sometimes Love cannot wait", but I seem to recall a saying that states: "Love is patient". This is the standard of love laid out by God, in his Word. And its virtue is seen here in what could be called a "cautionary tale of two lovers who crashed into one another like waves, leaving emotional wreckage and heartbreak in their wake."
Something positive I noticed in the movie, though, was the possibility of using John's character as symbolic of God's love for us. Selfless love vs. Selfish desires. We have all acted like Savannah and responded to God's love with an attitude of selfishness. We might ask: "What can I get out of this? How can I get what I want from God?" And despite our ugly sinful attitudes, God still pursues us and loves us. I doubt that is the message Mr. Sparks or the movie intended to communicate, but it hit me that way all the same. While we were still sinners, Christ died to redeem us to himself. Because he loves us.
With that, I conclude the first installment of this series. Sorry it took me so long to crank a legit blog out, but I am back with this one, and you guys can expect to see another one soon. I appreciate comments, compliments, criticism and prayer! God Bless.
